Comparison is a basic function
Without an objective measure of whether you are doing well, people use those around them as the standard. This is not a flaw but a long-standing way of locating yourself. The problem is not comparison itself but that the pool of comparisons became unlimited, and that those comparisons are edited to look better than they are.
What you are comparing against
A feed shows not someone's whole life but a summary of their best moments. About yourself, you know the boring stretches, the failures and the anxiety. Comparing an edited summary with an unedited whole has a predetermined result. Knowing this does not switch off the feeling, so regulating how much you look is the practical route.
Two faces of comparing upward
Looking at people doing better can supply something to learn or can make you diminish yourself. What separates the two is whether the gap feels closeable. When the method is visible it motivates; when it feels unreachable, only self-evaluation drops.
- Someone whose process is visible: there is something to learn
- Someone showing only results: only the gap looks large
- Different starting points: the comparison carries no information
- Comparison that does not lead to action leaves only depletion
Wanting recognition is normal
Wanting recognition from others is a natural drive in a social animal. It is not a feeling to eliminate. It becomes hard to manage when that recognition is the only standard by which you evaluate yourself. If the count of reactions decides the mood of your day, the standard has moved entirely outside you.
Moving the standard
Removing comparison is difficult, but changing its target is not. Comparing with yourself a few months ago uses the same function against a reachable standard. Writing down in advance what you consider important also stops every area where others excel from becoming your standard. Reducing viewing time remains the most direct method.
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